So things are going well, I am losing weight and I my blood pressure is going down thanks to the meds. I am currently watching Mad Money with Maura Steiner while writing this. Anyways I am finding it hard to stay on track with my weight though sometimes I go down and do great other times I splurge and have to work a little harder. I guess it is interesting how life works and how health is important. Here in America the average weight for male at average height is 191lbs and women its 165 lbs. That is really telling us how unhealthy we are getting. One of the things I find myself pondering is if I can get myself in shape and my body looking good again if I will have a easier time finding a relationship. I have a feeling that might not make a difference though, or maybe in a way I just dont want to admit that it makes a difference. I know many beautiful women that I  would love to date but I always keep my mouth shut because I feel like I dont stand a shot. I understand the thought process that you cant win at a game if you never step in and play. I just dont know if it is worth playing the game is the odds arent in your favor, but then you are the one who decides if the odds are in your favor or not….or something like that. I guess I just have to stay with it and maybe it will ring true that after girls have their times with the hot guys that arent really trying to make it in life they will want someone who really wants to make it in life and have a real family feel. Or maybe I am missing the point all together, oh well who knows. More thoughts later on. 

Ok so I know I have had this coming for a long time given the choices I have made. However this does not make it any less scary. I went to the doctor today. My health has been called into question. My blood pressure today was 180-110. The doctor says it is at a dangerous level and even with dietary changes and exercise there is no guarantee things will be ok. My heart might have sustained damage they are doing testing to find out. I can use all the praying I can get. I hope things are not as bad as the doctor makes it sound but all I can do is wait and see. More later… Sincerely, J

So I find it interesting working with the people I work with who can be really cool that they also can be some of the biggest asses. My office manager is really interesting sometimes with how she chooses to deal with problems. I have a co worker who likes to talk about people behind their back and since the office manager chooses to not deal with that I figured ok fine I will play her game back to her and see if that gets her to shut up. Well funny thing is when I did it the office manager jumped on me and was like you need to stop this immediately ect. When I said seriously you don’t notice she does it and explained my position she said while this may be true it does not make you doing it right. Now wait just a minute here I have been a manager before and while I may not have a psychology degree as she does that is a cop out bullshit position to take. Ok first off if you are the manager and you know this is going on with your staff you call your ENTIRE STAFF on it and say I will not tolerate it from anyone.  Playing favorites with your staff is bullshit and yes while this does happen in many work places you cannot expect the situation to resolve itself if you are going to not take a stand on things and let these things go on.  No one really cares that you have a degree in psychology because it doesnt mean you know how to manage staff. This is simply a bad situation and not being handled well at all.  I also feel that when one person is causing tension for three out of your four regular staff turning a blind eye to it is silly.  I guess I don’t know anything though because I don’t have the degree in psychology. 

So I had my first date with Jessica lastnight. I screwed up so bad. I think I have lost her. Yet again I rushed and panicked and left being myself for fear of losing a girl.  I could not control those fears and be myself. Maybe this is a sign of me not being able to keep someone happy. I know I have lost a lot of her respect now. If she doesnt leave me I will be shocked. I know I have a lot of work to do to make things right if she gives me that chance and I will do it gladly. I just don’t know what happened to me. I was dumb. I let how things went in my last relationship steer how things went on this date. I have to leave it up to God now. If he wants it to be she will give me another chance if not she wont. Thats all for now. Way to go Jon!!! 

So today was another day of shopping. I have spent money but I feel okay because I know I am committed to paying it down so I know when I get back I will take care of paying it down and Christmas only comes once a year. While I have totally enjoyed the weather and part of me wants to be here I am also wanting to be home. I miss the dogs. This reason is also applying some difficult thoughts about me moving out. I love those dogs a lot and being away from them is a scary thought. This new job has really brought forward my love of animals. When I am out walking on this trip and I see someone walking their dog I have to stop and pet it. Getting back to work will be interesting because its always a little slow getting back to work after vacation. I found a perfect shirt for my boss. I also spent time today talking with Jessica. Its funny because now I don’t know what I did before I met her because if I don’t talk to her during the day it doesn’t feel right. She makes me laugh and is the first girl who has ever said to me “will you work on your weight for me, not because I want you to weigh less because of attractiveness but because I want to know you are healthy and will always be around.” You know there is just something totally different about this time around, never have I felt and connection like this and felt so at ease with someone. She is honest and kind and today just kid around with me about life and made me realize just how lucky I am to have met someone so amazing. Whether or not you choose to believe in God I do and I thank him for bringing her into my life. I know that this truly is something special and I like that a lot. I also now how lucky I am and do not plan to let things go wrong. I hope you are all ready for Christmas I have got everything I need this year. I got a good job and I have nice coworkers and boss that appreciate me, I have great friends and family that care about me and want the best for me, I have two puppies that are totally cute and love unconditionally, and I met a amazing girl who makes me smile and wants to do whatever it takes to make things work with us over time. Thank you very much Lord for these great gifts this year and blessing me. I know it was time for you to take my grandmother and though I miss her dearly I know she is happy being with you. I will see you again someday Grandmommy. Thank you and everyone have a great Christmas.

So as many of you know my luck when it comes to girls has been not exactly great. However that could all change. I have met someone new. Her name is Jessica and she is very sweet and kind, doesnt drink really, doesnt smoke. She comes from a family where she has two younger siblings but you can tell she loves them very much. I have delayed writing about her on here because I wanted to make sure to collect my thoughts and pour them out well laid out on this one. I hope I succeed at doing this too. She is wanting to take her time getting to know me and we are both very patient people. She is twenty years old and lives in Edmonds. She works with the elderly in a caregiver role which is very commendable. Currently she is working to attend school in order to become a nurse which I can already tell just by talking to her she will be amazing at. She is a hard worker and does not allow anything to stand in the way of what she wants and for that she should be proud. I enjoy talking to her and catching up and seeing how are days have gone. Though I work with animals and she with people there is still a caring bond there between our fields in that you both want to do the best you can to see the “patient” you are helping succeed in the best way possible.  We are planning to meet and have dinner sometime in the next few weeks and that should be a good time for us to really spend time together. We are both willing to work at this and see what comes of it. At the same time we are not going to pressure each other or rush each other because we both know what that leads to. For those of you that know my personal life well you know how things went last time and how driven I am not to allow myself to get into that same spot. I can already tell just talking that things are different here. I am dealing with someone mature that knows what they want out of life and isnt just looking to hook up with as many guys as they can. She was going to attempt to come to the New Year’s Eve party but as switching shifts would put her in overtime she will not be able to.  I look forward to spending time with her though as she likes movies and we can connect on that as well as love for animals and family and friends which as we all know are three huge things for me. Her father is a police officer in the Bellevue police department. I have a lot of respect for the men and women that put themselves out there everyday to do jobs like that. I also remember when my brother did it and sometimes how worried you can become for the loved ones.  I just hope he likes me when she mentions me otherwise I might as well change my name to Apu and move to India. I have not felt this happy about the direction my life is taking in a long time. I just pray everything keeps rolling in the right direction and God willing it will. Peace for now and God Bless.

Well  I am in Kona, Hawaii. I am having a great time on one side and not so great on the other. I enjoy being here but I feel like this trip is taking away from the true meaning of Christmas. I feel we should be together as a family regardless of loved ones we have lost. Yes it is true that we are together the four of us my parents and my sister and I. However I have two brothers and their wives back home in Seattle that we are not with.  It has been warm weather while we are here which is nice though I hear it is cold and wet at home. Work is going well I  am still learning more and more each day. I realized as this time of year comes around it is nice to work for someone who appreciates people spending time with family and friends. I am however looking forward to getting home and spending time with family and friends, if I had it my way I would be rich and take all my friends and family on trips so that everyone could experience it and share in the joy together. I miss the dogs as well. Though I completely trust Sarah with them its would be nice to see them and play with them. I went whale watching on Friday that was a awesome experience in and of itself. Totally worth the money and something  that it is hard to truly appreciate and understand until you have done it. Though we only saw two humpback whales it was still amazing because they came right up to the boat and stayed near us as well as swimming underneath us a few times. These truly are magnificent beautiful creatures. I honestly don’t believe we get the true understanding of how awesome they are until you take a whale watching tour and have one right in front of you to see their size and beauty. Ryan I know you totally should have been on this trip with me you would have done a better photography job. For some reason I just couldn’t time it right to get their tails in the air before they dived back down. I have tomorrow and Tuesday here and then I fly home Tuesday night. It has been nice to get into a different area in the world and experience what it has to offer. While I was in Honolulu when I was young I was too young to appreciate it and all its beauty. The people here are very nice and they really welcome you. Funny to be in a culture so different from home but to be able to use U.S money. Which I might add is great given the current exchange rates…. OUCH. Anyways thats all from me for now. 

Ok I am now officially part of the team. My finger has now been up a dogs butt. How was it? Don’t ask. Lets just say it is one of life’s experiences I probably could have done without but oh well. Oh and yes it will happen more and more now. As there is a procedure we have to do that requires we reach up in there. By the way I am getting moved up to a veterinary assistant now.I have learned enough in two months that I am start learning the other procedures and tasks. It is exciting and I am loving everyday. Anyway I gotta get some sleep now more later.

Ok I saw something today I have never seen. I totally EVIL cat. This cat we were trying to put back in its carrier to send home with its owner and it like flipped out. It tried to attack the vet and me on its way to running around the clinic. This cat is pure evil. It took 45 min for the vet to corner it and get it boxed up and bathed and if I make it sound simple I am telling it wrong because this was amazing this cat wanted us dead. I cant imagine having this for a pet the owners even said they had been bit by it. This is a dumb idea some animals I dont think are meant to be house pets and especially when you have a small child as these people did. I just dont know anyway more later on. Take care.

I think I have finally found something I really enjoy. I love this job though I am sad that some of the people I have worked with and grown to love are leaving to go to vet school or moving away which is sad. Though this means I am gaining seniority at the same time. I plan to start taking online classes to learn some more on the medical aspect and further my education in the field. I am also looking forward to the fact that one of my friends has applied and may start working there if hired. Though I did have to promise like five million times that we were not going to end up dating. Anyway that is what is going on with me things are awesome and I just want to keep learning all I can.